Hey Tired Parents: Here’s Why Rest is Important (and not a Waste of Time)

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Who has time to rest and relax, right? 

We have kids to feed, clothe and play with. We have bills to pay. And therefore, a job to work.

We have a home to clean, organize and decorate. We have cars to service. 

We have a body to take care of. (Because those kids need us for many years to come.) 

But we’re tired. So tired. 

And we know if we rest, something will go undone. Plus, we’ll be stressed later when we have to play catch up.

So we stay up after the kids go to sleep. We wake up before they do. We get stuff done when they nap.

It’s an exhausting circle. And we know, deep down, we can’t sustain this. 

This is why I feel if parents know why rest is important, we’d permit ourselves to get more of it.

It’s Not Our Fault Rest Is Undervalued

It’s no wonder we struggle to rest or take a break. 

In this fast-paced world, where information and communication are available 24/7, the right time to rest—whether it’s a vacation or relaxing or simply taking a nap—seems to be: never.

And as parents nowadays, we’re expected to raise confident, independent—and emotionally intelligent—kids. Provide them with home-cooked meals, a wide variety of extracurriculars, academic support, and Pinterest-worthy parties.

And to afford all that, we have to do well in our careers to bring home a sufficient income (or two). We feel pressure to have a house decorated with an HGTV designer’s level of skill, new enough cars to haul the kids and all their gear, and maybe even a few toys or trailers for family camping trips.

And of course, there’s the usual upkeep of other chores and errands.

Exhausted yet? I am. 

So it’s no surprise why self-care practices, like resting, become a low priority for many of us. 

We may believe in the importance of rest, but somehow, it seems like we’ve convinced ourselves that taking time out for ourselves will deprive our kids of something… 

But it’s the other way around. We are depriving our kids of our best selves when we don’t make space to rest.

Why Rest Is Important and Not the Same as Being Lazy

It’s obvious we can’t do it all without feeling exhausted, stressed and maybe even resentful. 

Rest allows us to regroup, reevaluate and reflect. 

It helps us prioritize what matters and make sure we put our energy and resources towards those things. 

Taking purposeful, or “active” rest won’t make you less productive, it will make you more present in the things you do and bring out the best in you and your child.

Another reason why rest is important is that rest grants our brains time to process everything learned during the day. And modeling it for our kids helps them learn to take rests too. 

Ok, so we’re starting to understand the importance of rest. But what’s the difference between resting and just being lazy?

It’s Time to Rest When…

• We’re sleep-deprived. If we were up a lot with the kids at night, had a few late nights in a row or we feel tired during the day, our “rest” may mean catching up on our Zzzs.
• We’re not present. If we’re so busy that we feel frantic, or like we can’t slow down, we need to be mindful of our needs and allow ourselves to rest.
• We’re overly emotional. If we snap at the kids more than usual, feel like crying often, or get frustrated easily, we need space to rest and reflect.
• We’re not prioritizing self-care. If we don’t have time built into our day for creativity, exercise, play or other activities that fill us up, we need to give ourselves permission to rest and reset our priorities. 

It’s Laziness When…

• We procrastinate. If we know we need to get something done, but we put other, less, important things first, we may be procrastinating rather than resting.
• We make excuses. If we feel like we have to make excuses for what we choose to do, we should ask ourselves if this is what we should be doing.
• We do not accomplish much. If we don’t get much done (remember, this doesn’t have to include “physical” tasks), we may be experiencing laziness.
• We are not intentional. Rest is purposeful. If we meander from one thing to the next without much thought or choice, it’s probably more laziness than restfulness. 

A note on laziness: We all do it. And at times, it feels good. So you’ll get no judgment from me here. 

But rest is a choice we make. We choose to “recharge our batteries” when we choose to rest.

That act of intention isn’t the only reason why rest is important. Let’s talk about some other reasons that make resting worth it.

Reap the Benefits of Rest

When used meaningfully, rest has serious benefits for parents (and kids). And these benefits may leak into our workplace too!

Here are the benefits of rest.

1. Rest Reduces Stress

Being a parent and being stressed seems to go hand-in-hand. Especially with the addition of the pandemic. Parents’ stress levels increased substantially during COVID-19 and haven’t returned to their pre-COVID levels. One way to lower our stress is through taking designated breaks. 

When we’re stressed, we’re in a fight-or-flight (survival) mode. Living in this state takes a serious toll on our mental health. Resting allows us to come down from that highly aroused state to relax.

2. Rest Improves Decision Making

We’re stressed. We’re exhausted. And some days, making one more decision seems like an insurmountable task. This is why I often tell that salesperson I have to “sleep on it” or “pray about it” before making a big purchase.

When we give ourselves space to contemplate a decision, without distractions, we create opportunities to make choices that reflect our true needs and values. Taking time to rest grants us the space to do that.

3. Rest Increases Productivity 

When we’re tired, we can’t get much done. And we certainly can’t think or concentrate well. According to author Alex Soojung-Kim, “rest helps us think, innovate, and increase our productivity.”

We can get more done after a peaceful night’s sleep, a mental health day, or even a short coffee break. Those breaks help us return to our tasks with renewed energy, alertness and purpose.

4. Rest Promotes Creativity

When we’re overworked on the job, overwhelmed at home, and inundated with screens, it leaves little room for creativity to find a way in. I felt a lack of creativity when my kids went back to school after being out for a year and a half due to the pandemic. So I took a month-long break from this blog!

But when we take purposefully designated rests, we quiet the noise and invite creativity in. Whether our rest is a power nap or a month-long break, rest boosts our creative juices.

5. Rest Strengthens Mental Health

It’s hard for us to give our all to our partner, kids, co-workers and ourselves when we’re depleted. And that feeling of letting others down or not performing up to a standard we’ve set lowers our self-confidence and self-love. 

We can improve our emotional and mental well-being by resting in ways that allow us to express our emotions. This may mean a therapy session, a chat with a good listener, or journaling.

Embrace the Importance of Rest—You’re Not Being Lazy (Trust Me)

Rest may seem like a luxury. 

Or a waste of time. 

Or an excuse to be lazy.

It’s none of those. Rest is necessary. 

We know why rest is important. We’ve probably sensed it all along. 

Let’s stop feeling guilty for taking the time we need to recharge and reflect. Let’s build rests into our schedule, whether it’s a short nap, a coffee break away from the computer screen or toddler tantrums, a mindful walk around the yard, a vacation, or a month-long step away to reflect. (I still can’t believe I took a month off!) We’ll see the benefits of rest no matter how long our downtime lasts.

By prioritizing rest, we’ll be the example to others—especially our kids—that rest has value in life. 

Stay mindful, even when your mind is full,
~Chelsea