15 Inspiring Ways to Foster Teamwork in a Marriage

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When was the last time you worked with someone to achieve a goal? 

Maybe it was on the field for the championship. Or a presentation at work. Or a group project at school. How about an event you volunteered for? 

Recall that warm feeling of accomplishment. Of hard work paying off. Of having others by your side so you didn’t have to go it alone.

Remember that? 

Wanna know something cool? 

Many couples feel that in their marriages, too!

Sometimes, I feel it daily. With my husband. Because he and I make up the best team I’ve ever played for.

And being that we’re both collegiate athletes, and we’ve played on our share of teams, that’s saying something. 

Am I telling you this to brag? 

HECK NO!

Most of us know the statistics by now, right? 

The divorce rate in America has stayed pretty consistent for most of my adult life. According to this article from APA on marriage and divorce, it’s between 40 and 50 percent. 

And as a daughter of divorce, I’ve lived that statistic.

This is why I’ve become mindful of my marriage.

I know I can’t take one day for granted. This team takes work. But to build a strong marriage and loving relationship, that hard work is crucial. 

I may not be an expert in marriage and relationships. But as a wife determined to fight for her marriage, and an athlete who looks at everything she’s a part of as a team, I’ve learned a thing or two about working with others.

And I want to spread the word because the more love, the merrier. 💗 Ready to work? Awesome! (Cue your favorite pre-game warm-up song. 🎵)

Let’s see how team building looks in matrimony.

15 Ways to Foster Teamwork in a Marriage

In honor of my husband’s and my 15th anniversary this week, I settled on 15 strategies to boost teamwork in a marriage to share with you! (Sorry to get all sappy. ) 😍

And for the record, my co-captain and I have utilized every one of these!

1. Be Mindful that There’s No “I” in “Team”

Being mindful about our team means being aware of all parts of the team and how our actions affect the team—not just ourselves. If we aren’t mindful, or aware of the team, our actions become self-serving. And there’s no “I”’ in “team.” We both have to buy into the work it takes for a relationship to thrive—it can’t be just one of us. Our decisions are based on what’s best for the team. Sure, we have times when we get to be selfish, but be mindful of those occasions and balance it out by being selfless from time to time, too.

2. Give Three Cheers for Common Interests!

Are we different? Definitely! But there are activities we enjoy doing together. For example, my husband and I met on the college volleyball court, and for years, playing or coaching volleyball was a spirited (and competitive) common interest we shared. And when we partake in activities we both like, it deepens our connection. We find opportunities to problem solve, grow and learn alongside each other. Oh, and it’s fun!

3. Have a Game Plan

Whether it’s a vision for a small goal you both want to attain or a mission statement for how you live your life, have a game plan! Knowing what’s important to us and sharing that with each other gives us something to reach for, work towards and accomplish. Together. And honestly, most of ours are ones we probably wouldn’t have been able to do alone. Which is part of the beauty of teamwork in relationships!

4. Huddle up for Problems

Issues, problems, and unfortunate events will befall us. The best part of any team I’ve been on? I never had to solve a problem alone. And I have to say. It’s one of the beautiful gifts of a strong marriage. Get together with your spouse and share each other’s woes. Be your spouse’s accountability partner if they need it. Work together to figure out life’s puzzles. The burden is less heavy when it rests on two sets of shoulders, rather than one.

5. Communicate Constructively

Teamwork in a marriage is different than teamwork anywhere else in that the potential for deeply rooted feelings and personal experiences will be discussed. And as we get to know each other more, the potential to use that against each other arises. But we must resist that feeling. Open communication with active listening and understanding fosters healthy communication. If that’s not happening, take a break and try again later.

6. Play by the Rules—Argue Fairly

Is this sorta like the previous point? Yea. But guys. This needs to be said. Disagreements and arguments are NORMAL and part of life. How we go about arguing, though, can make or break the team. The rules are: no name-calling, no abuse of any kind, no one-upping, no scorekeeping, no bullying, no blaming, so silent treatment. And for the most part, we try to never go to bed angry.

7. Establish Your Roles & Responsibilities

In any strong team, members are clear about what’s expected of them. It’s no different in a loving relationship. Discuss with your teammate (aka your spouse) what you’re each responsible for doing around the house, yard, etc. This makes expectations clear and prevents assumptions. When something doesn’t happen, both of you know who’s responsible. On the flip side of that, knowing how much you’re each contributing, opens the door for feelings of recognition, gratitude, and service.

8. Utilize and Appreciate Differences

The best teams are those that are diverse. If my husband and I had the same strengths, who’d be strong when the other is weak? Each spouse brings a special set of talents and gifts to the team, providing more means to solve problems and achieve goals. Strong teams empower their members by praising and utilizing their strengths. Strong marriages do the same. When couples appreciate their differences and abilities, teamwork in the relationship grows.

9. Take Turns Following the Leader

Remember that you’re a co-captain. Have confidence in your spouse to take the lead and inspire your spouse with your leadership skills. Teamwork in a marriage doesn’t mean a dictatorship. There will be times when one of you is more suited or even capable of taking the reins than the other. This was true for us after my miscarriages. My anxiety and depression prevented me from doing many tasks, and thankfully my husband took over some of them during that time.

10. Be Brave by Being Honest and Vulnerable

I’m going to put this in all caps so it’s clear. BE VULNERABLE. BE HONEST. I don’t mean to shout, but your spouse’s trust in you (see #11 below), hinges on you being honest. Yeah, it’s scary to admit when we’re wrong and confess our faults and fears, but if you want your teammate to be open with you, you have to expect the same of yourself. And treat moments of vulnerability with care. When we open up, we’re trusting our team to take care of us.

11. Score Trust

Successful teams are ones who trust and depend on one another. This goes for strong marriages, too. When we show our spouses they can rely on us to care for their feelings, opinions, and concerns, trust grows. And trust is crucial for successful teamwork in relationships. How can we be expected to work harmoniously with someone we don’t trust? We can’t. So work at strengthening your trust.

12. Admire Your Allstar

No matter what team you’re on, treating your teammates with kindness and respect is part of the deal. And when you see one of those teammates learn, grow and overcome, those feelings may grow to admiration. Remember how special your spouse is. And admire their greatness without feeling insecure or jealous. Loving relationships, like successful teams, require kindness and mutual respect.

13. Reap the Benefits of Empathy

Teamwork in a marriage and anywhere else needs empathy. It’s more than sympathy. Empathy means sensing another’s feelings and understanding why they feel them. Whether your spouse shares light-hearted and fun, or deep, messy, emotionally charged feelings with you, if you have empathy, you’ll know the best way to respond. And your spouse will feel like you truly understand where they’re coming from. According to Greater Good Magazine, empathy is “often the vital first step toward compassionate action.”

14. Penalties Don’t Last Forever—Practice Forgiveness

Remember to have grace with yourself and your spouse. We’re human, so we’ll make mistakes. Apologies and forgiveness go a long way towards healing past hurts. When we hold onto anger, it builds into resentment. And when we feel our spouse resenting us, the window for vulnerability shrinks. Asking for forgiveness as well as granting it, helps couples acknowledge feelings that would otherwise fester. And getting over hurdles oftentimes brings us closer together, eventually strengthening the teamwork in our relationship.

15. Celebrate and Have Fun!

Playing on teams can get competitive and intense. But remember to have fun! Teams bond over inside jokes, reliving memorable moments, and making time to rest. It’s not all work and no play. Share silly stories. Laugh at funny marriage quotes. Dance to the music playing. Plan for downtime. After all the dedicated work you two put into building teamwork in your marriage, you deserve it!

What Does Teamwork in Your Marriage Look Like?

You’ve heard how teamwork strengthens our relationship. Now I’d like to hear from you! 

How do you use teamwork in your marriage? Have you experienced the 15 ways listed above? Or is there one I missed? 

Let me know in the comments below how you and your spouse work as a team! 👇👇👇

As always, Stay mindful, even when your mind’s full, 
~Chelsea

P.S. Keep this list handy by pinning it for later! 📌