How We Talked with Our Kids About Switching to a Plant-Based, Vegan Diet

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Wanna know what I dreaded the most about going plant-based?

What I thought would be our greatest hurdle?

What I feared our success depended on?

Getting the kids on board.

Let’s face it. I could swap out all our animal products with plant products in the house. I could make killer plant-based meals (and desserts!) for them every day. Heck, I could succumb to bribery to get them to bend to my will. 

But if they’re not on the same page as my husband and I—if they don’t share a similar “why” for making this change—they will complain and argue and quite possibly be hangry for the rest of their days under our roof!

No parent wants that.

So why even bother bringing the kids along on this journey? Here’s why. 👇

Isn’t Becoming a Plant-Based Family too Much Work?

When my husband asked if I’d switch to a plant-based, vegan diet with him, and we both saw positive results, we felt compelled—albeit apprehensive—to include our children.

But the odds of that happening seemed insurmountable:

• Like us, they have piled meat and dairy on their plates all their lives. 
• My kids don’t like change. 
• Our kids are picky about certain foods.
• Their favorite dishes like cookies, pizza, cheeseburgers, eggs and bacon all include animal products.
• Almost every major holiday or event boasts a meal with an animal (or animal product) as the centerpiece. All of our family traditions and holidays will be different. 
• The school cafeteria (and every class party) doesn’t serve plant-based options.
• And then there was this hurdle: Being newly plant-based myself, I wasn’t sure how much authority I had to speak to my kids on the matter.

Switching to a plant-based diet could change everything!

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What Gave Us the Courage to Make the Change

Once you know something, it’s hard to unknow it.

And that’s where we found ourselves. We felt that for our family, going plant-based would benefit:

• Our health
• The environment, and
• Animals

But if I’m being honest, there was another factor that played a huge part in our decision to become a plant-based family:

Making separate meals for ourselves and the kids wasn’t cost effective or efficient.

So, decision made. Now we just had to check on one more thing…

Was a Plant-Based, Vegan Diet Even Safe for Our Kids?

After doing our own research, we met with our doctors to ensure this was a healthy and safe choice for our kids. We got the green light to forge ahead.

But if you or your kids are considering a plant-based diet, always consult your doctor.

This post is not intended to be used as medical advice. This is based on our family's experience. Please see my terms of use and disclaimer for more details. 

With the medical piece out of the way, it was time to figure out how the heck to tell our kids about the big waves we planned to cause.

8 Steps We Took to Tell Our Kids About Switching to a Plant-Based Diet

As many parents know, before we introduce a positive change into our kids’ lives, we do the best prep we can.

We brainstorm and research so we can answer their tough and clever questions, meet resistance with compassion and clarity, and avoid cracking under the pressure of any tantrums or hysteria that may ensue.

And although we planned on only switching to a plant-based diet, after all of our research, we decided going vegan more closely coincided with our personal beliefs. 

I never thought I’d be contemplating raising vegan kids.

But as we prepared for the conversation, that’s the direction our plan ended up going.

We found a comfortable time to meet when everyone was alert and in good spirits (which can be challenging with three kids under 8).

And this is how the conversation went.

Let’s walk through, step-by-step, how we talked to our kids about switching to a plant-based, vegan diet.

1. Clear up Differences Between Animal and Plant Products.

Before we introduced the idea of plant-based or veganism, we had to give our kids a foundation of knowledge about animal versus plant foods. While we eat a lot of fruits and veggies and whole grains around here, we don’t put a label on them of “plant” or “animal.”

We kept this short and simple:

• The foods we eat have ingredients from plants and animals. 
• Animal products are foods like eggs, milk and cheese, which are called “dairy.” 
• Animal products are also meats like bacon, burgers and hot dogs. These come from animals like chickens, turkeys, pigs and cows.
• Plant products are foods like fruits, vegetables, grains, nuts, seeds, and beans.

Our kids were already bouncing on the couch with questions, like “Are raspberries vegan?” And “What about pizza?” 

So we took care of those quickly before moving on.

2. Express Our Responsibility for Their Health.

Our family often talks about eating healthy foods that help our bodies work better and our brains think clearly.

Again, we kept this part brief to prevent those glazed-over eyes we look into when we talk too long.

We started with basic information about the benefits of plants and gave some examples. 

But the next part was tricky.

Until now, we told our kids many animal products were healthy for them. We’ve since learned otherwise, but reading all the research would quickly bore our kids. 

So we did some translating:

• You guys know foods from plants are healthy choices. (e.g., walnuts help your brain, spinach helps your bones, etc.)
• Mommy and Daddy just learned that what we thought was healthy for us, really isn’t. 
• Dairy and meat could make us sick over time. (No, not like throw-up sick. But with more serious diseases and illnesses.)
• Mommy and Daddy want to feed your body what it needs to feel good and grow strong.

As our kids get older, we will offer them more detailed information about plant-based, vegan diets.

3. Empathize with Animals. 

We kept our discussion on animal cruelty age-appropriate. Our kids are too young (and sensitive) to share the harsh truths of how animals are harmed in meat and dairy production. 

We gave minimal details and hoped that was enough to trigger empathy:

• When we eat meat and dairy, we hurt animals. 
• Animals who are used for meat often grow up in small, dirty cages.
• You guys know animals are killed to make the meat we eat. 
• Even when we eat eggs and dairy, chickens and cows are harmed.
• Baby animals are taken away from their moms when they are very young.
• Animals have feelings just like our dog. Just like you and me.
• They feel pain just like we do, too.
• Can you imagine how you would feel if you were taken from us, lived in a cage, and were used for meat?
• We feel sad that the foods we eat hurt animals.

Seriously though. Speaking these points out loud was challenging. (Which proved to us that going vegan was the right move for our family.)

The kids grew more quiet and still as we moved through each point. Though my vision was somewhat blurred from my own unshed tears, I saw my two older children had similar reactions.

We don’t show our children images of animal cruelty. We will introduce more details if and when they are ready. But the above conversation was thankfully enough.

4. Reveal the Eye-Opening Impact on the Environment.

Our kids already know basic conservation tips like “save some water for the fishies,” “don’t litter,” and “turn off the lights when you’re not in the room.” 

Since they will be on this planet longer than us, we wanted them to know how switching to a plant-based diet can positively impact the environment:

• Since many people eat meat and dairy, we have many animals using land and water.
• We could save water by eating less animal products.  
• The lands they are on and the land their food grows on could be used for crops to feed more people.Raising all of these animals creates a lot of pollution, both in our air and water.
• The amount of pollution farming animals makes is more than the pollution from all modes of transportation (like cars and buses) in the world.
• There’s no place to store the waste from animals when they go to the bathroom. A lot of that waste ends up in rivers and lakes.

Our kids were pretty shocked (as were we!) at how much farming animals affects the environment.

5. Drop the Vegan, Plant-Based Bomb.  

It was time to break the news. 

We built up our case for switching to a plant-based, vegan diet the best we could. Here’s what we said next:

• We don’t want to hurt animals, the environment or our health.
• We are going to try to eat what’s called a whole-food, plant-based, vegan diet. This means we will only eat food from plants now. (I wasn’t sure if the stares meeting me were from shock or confusion, so I got more specific.)
• We won’t eat eggs, milk, butter, meat, and cheese anymore.

“Wait.” They stopped us. 

And we watched their wide, round eyes as they processed the idea of not having pizza, ice cream, hot dogs and burgers.

Then they got upset. 

And understandably so. 

We were met with questions, lots of whining, and at one point, even tears. 

But we compassionately persevered.

We acknowledged their intense feelings (it wasn’t that long ago we felt the same way!) and wrapped our arms around their small bodies, providing comfort. 

Then we asked them to calmly sit down and tell us their worries.

6. THIS IS IMPORTANT: Don’t Cower at Their Questions: They Deserve Honest Answers.

This was it. The part I feared the most. I was nervous to face the hard questions from my kids. Mostly because I didn’t have all the answers!

We decided to make it a discussion with our kids so we could come up with solutions together, as a family.

Here’s what our kids asked.

• “We can’t eat pizza anymore?” Yes, you can still have pizza. We’ll either use vegan cheese made from nut milk, or we can have it cheeseless with lots of your favorite toppings.
• “What about desserts?!” Nope! You don’t have to give up dessert. (And thankfully, neither do I!) But our sweet treats won’t use eggs, milk or butter anymore. We’ll make and eat desserts that use plant ingredients instead of animal products.
• “Can we still buy lunch at school? Do they have vegan food?” (We decided we won’t buy lunches anymore because they don’t have meat and dairy free options.) Since we can’t buy lunch, I’ve come up with some quick and tasty vegan lunches for kids. But at the time, I told them we can use some vegan and plant-based substitutes, like almond chocolate milk, for example!
• “What happens at birthday or school parties when they only have food we can’t eat?” (This was the question I felt least prepared to answer. We came to a group decision for replacement foods as we adjust to this lifestyle, and will probably even let the kids decide for themselves in some situations.) When you’re at parties we can bring you something similar that’s vegan or make do with what they have. We can deal with those situations one at a time as they come along. 
• “Is everyone else going vegan?” No—but that’s OK! Everyone makes different choices. (We did point out other celebrities who ARE vegan that the kids know though. And their grandparents decided to start eating plant-based soon after we did, so that helped, too.)
• Do we have to eat like this? We are only going to serve plant-based food now. We will still make tasty breakfasts, snacks, lunches and family dinners. If we aren’t around, and someone offers you something that isn’t plant-based, it’s up to you. (As our kids get older, and eat outside of the house more, they will make these choices for themselves. Sure, we’d love for them to remain plant-based, but we realize it will ultimately be up to them.)

Their questions continue to come up. And it’s been over a year. And we keep fine-tuning it as a family.

We’re still learning and it’s inspiring to see our kids create solutions to the problems as well.

For example, when we’ve been at parties where pizza is served, I get anxious about how the kids may respond. But my oldest will say he doesn’t want any, or sometimes ask me to covertly take the cheese off so he can eat the rest of it. 

It’s a relief for me when the rest of my family comes up with ways to navigate this new territory. It means I don’t have to have all the answers.

7. Recognize How Life-Changing this Is. And How Heroic They Are.

We spent more time processing their feelings now that they had a better idea of what was about to go down:

• We understand how tough this seems. We miss cheese and chocolate chip cookies, too!
• Changing the way we’ve always done something is hard. 
• But if we change to make something better, it feels good. Did you know by not eating meat and dairy, each of us saves 8 animals a month? That means that as a family, we will save 40 animals this month!
• Daddy and I always learn new things and when we learned about a plant-based diet, it made us decide to change.
• Change takes courage to try something new and bravery to face the unknown.

I hate change, so I can empathize with my kids when they want to reject change. I want them to feel heard though, so we made sure to take this step of acknowledging their feelings.

8. Remind Them to be Accepting and Compassionate of Differences. 

Lastly, we wanted to revisit a question our kids asked earlier: Is everyone else going vegan?

• Most of the people we know won’t eat like us. And that’s OK.
• They may not know what we’ve learned yet. Or they may prefer the food they eat. And that’s OK.
• Everyone is different. That’s part of what makes us special. 
• If they have questions about why you’re eating this way, you can talk to them about it if you want to.
• Try not to make them feel bad for eating differently than you. Just like they aren’t allowed to make you feel bad for eating differently than them.
• You don’t have to change someone who still eats meat or dairy.
• If someone says anything that hurts your feelings, you can tell them this is your choice. And you’re choosing to eat food that makes you feel better, doesn’t hurt animals, and helps our environment.

We don’t want our children to make anyone feel bad for eating a different way than we do. We can’t pass judgement—not long ago we ate that way, too.

We also don’t want others to make our kids feel bad for their choices. So we gave them tools to use in case it does happen.

BONUS: Need Additional Rock-Solid Resources? 

We are constantly on the lookout for updates about eating a plant-based, vegan diet. Here are some we’ve found so far that have helped us with the large task of raising vegan kids:

• PETA Mentor: One resource I’ve loved as a parent is PETA’s mentor program. It’s all via email, so I don’t have to leave home, but I get to talk to a person who has lived this lifestyle longer than me. It gives me a lot of resources as we make the change to a full vegan lifestyle.
• YouTube: We follow some awesome channels that provide the latest research about a vegan diet as well as plant-based news. We also watch other vegan families, some of these are even kid-friendly.
• Vegan Children’s Books: When my kids struggle to grasp difficult concepts, I seek out books that we can read together. The three vegan children’s books I like so far, which are suitable for younger kids and don’t have anything graphic in them, are We All Love, Not a Nugget, and What Vegan Kids Eat!

Hopefully sharing our family conversation will give you inspiration for ways you can talk with your kids about switching to a plant-based diet.

And if you need more support, check out our post on 10 Supportive Steps to Help Parents Gently Transition Kids to a Vegan Diet. Or, connect with other vegan parents like myself on social media. Come say hi and introduce yourself on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter!

And if you want to see how we hung in after a year of being plant-based and vegan, check out our first Veganniversary!

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So, What About You?

If you’ve had a similar conversation with your kids, what details about going plant-based did you make sure to discuss? If you haven’t had this talk with your kids, but plan to, what are the most critical elements you want to cover when you share the news? 

I’m looking forward to seeing what conversation topics are most important to you in the comments below.

Stay mindful, even when your mind’s full.
~Chelsea

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